The following overheard conversation between God and St. Francis has been circulating on the Web.

God:Francis, you know all about gardens and nature; what in the world isgoing on down there in the U.S.? What happened to the dandelions,violets, thistles and the stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfectno-maintenance garden plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil,withstand drought, and multiply with abandon. The nectar from thelong-lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honeybees, and flocks ofsongbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of color by now. All I seeare patches of green.

St. Francis: It's the tribes that settledthere, Lord. They are called the Suburbanites. They started callingyour flowers "weeds" and went to great lengths to kill them and replacethem with grass.

God: Grass? But it is so boring, it's notcolorful. It doesn't attract butterflies, bees or birds, only grubs andsod worms. It's temperamental with temperatures. Do these Suburbanitesreally want grass growing there?

St. Francis: Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it has grown a little, they cut it....sometimes two times a week.

God: They cut it? Do they bale it like hay?

St. Francis: Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it in bags.

God: They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it?

St. Francis: No sir, just the opposite. They pay to throw it away.

God:Now let me get this straight...they fertilize it to make it grow andwhen it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away?

St. Francis: Yes, sir.

God:These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut back onthe rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth and savesthem a lot of work.

St. Francis: You aren't going to believethis Lord, but when the grass stops growing so fast, they drag outhoses and pay more money to water it so they can continue to mow it andpay to get rid of it.

God: What nonsense! At least they keptsome of the trees. That was a sheer stroke of genius, if I do say somyself. The trees grow leaves in the spring to provide beauty and shadein the summer. In the autumn they fall to the ground and form a naturalblanket to keep the moisture in the soil and protect the trees andbushes. Plus, as they rot, the leaves become compost to enhance thesoil. It's a natural circle of life.

St. Francis: You'd bettersit down, Lord. As soon as the leaves fall, the Suburbanites rake theminto great piles and pay to have them hauled away.

God: No way! What do they do to protect the shrubs and tree roots in the winter to keep the soil moist and loose?

StFrancis: After throwing the leaves away, they go out and buy somethingcalled mulch. They haul it home and spread it around in place of theleaves.

God: And where do they get this mulch?

St. Francis: They cut down the trees and grind them up to make mulch.

God:Enough! I don't want to think about this anymore. Saint Catherine,you're in charge of the arts. What movie have you scheduled for ustonight?

St. Catherine: "Dumb and Dumber," Lord. It's a really stupid movie about....

God: Never mind--I think I just heard the whole story from Saint Francis!